Saturday, December 30, 2006

On being thankful to live in this century

In doing family history, I've also read some other source material about the experience of living on the plains in the 1800s.

For the past 3 days, we've had clouds, snow, and almost constant wind.

Imagine living in those conditions out in the middle of the plains, no neighbors for miles, no electricity, no internet, no cable --- nothing but a little cabin, a fireplace and the sound of the wind howling around (or through) the cabin.

No wonder those women looked so dour in those pictures. How did they keep from going literally crazy in those conditions?

They obviously were made of very sturdy stuff -- I'm not sure I would measure's to our great grandmothers --- what great ladies they were!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

A wonderful Christmas was had by all......

As I write this, I'm sitting in a pool of lovely full spectrum light from the new lamp my DH got for me. After having "burned up" two smaller lamps that were full spectrum bulbs but used a transformer in the power set up, I had hinted broadly that a more efficient lighting system was probably a good idea. TA DA! I now have wonderful light to work under!!

He had quite a story to tell about one of the other presents he got for me too, and it goes like this.

Not long ago on Mason Dixon Knitting, there was a lengthy review of a Rowenta iron. Now the iron I've been using is about my daughter's age, and has seen me through many projects, but after reading the review of the Rowenta, I went on at length about its virtues, especially since it was clear that an heirloom quality quilt for our daughter's wedding was in our future.

So, the ever faithful DH set out on his quest to make it happen. Off he went to the store where he picked out a very nice model of the Rowenta, one with a very "pointy" sole plate which will be great for all that quilt work!

He goes to the check out, and is his usual thing, he was telling the clerk how this is a present for his wife for Christmas. Well, he nearly couldn't get it out the door until he made a long explanation about how thrilled I'd be to get it for the quilting. She simply didn't think an iron was a good Christmas gift! What a hoot!! BTW -- I am thrilled!! Can't wait to get started on the next quilt project and get to use it.

Today's picture should probably be labeled "Queen Elphie". She's pretty much taken this chair as her personal "throne". At the time I took this picture Christmas morning (before we tore into the presents as you can see from behind her), she was keeping our daughter's dog from getting into "her" chair.

I hope all of you had a great Christmas too!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Snow pictures and household projects

The snow and the wind made lovely scuplture! This is our back yard, where the wind blew the snow around into a kind of "half pipe" really looks amazing......I'm wondering if there's some way to capture this look with beads.....something to think about

The picture below is an icicle hanging from the blue spruce tree in our front yard.....the storm decorated the tree for Christmas!

And these would be the latest knitting adventure. Both knit from the same pattern, but in one the texture runs vertically and the other it is horizontal.

These are covers for my "Swiffer" which I love using because it picks up the dog hair so well, but I'm not thrilled with the "use the cover once and throw it away" issue.....

The reason I knit these two different directions was to do a semi scientific test.....which pattern picks up the most stuff before it must be changed? After a test use to figure it out, I will be making a few more of the most efficient pattern of course!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Why can't we play nice?

I keep wondering about that question as I keep hearing the replays (over and over ad nauseum) of Rosie and Donald slinging insults at each other.

What ever happened to a civilized nation?

I'll give Donald the benefit of the doubt here, he's giving a girl a chance to clean up her act and turn her life around. I'll forego that he probably has a financial motive here (see, even I'm cynical), but I can't for the life of me understand what Rosie can be thinking.....

Has our national culture so deteriorated that everything must be negative? Is this the legacy of living in fear?

It makes me want to stand on the street corner and scream at people "just play nice"!!

Thursday, December 21, 2006


One of the side attractions of having anywhere from 1/4 inch to 7 feet of snow in your yard is the fun you get to have clearing it out.

Today's excursion was done in 2 stages.....we had been asked by the post office folks to clear a path to our mail boxes so they can resume delivery service tomorrow, so we did that first.

It took a while to clear the knee deep drift across the sidewalk right next to the garage, but then we chugged along down the driveway on one side of the car, and on to the front walk to the edge of the post box.

By the time we had recovered and returned back outside to do the second stage, the neighbor on one side had run his snow blower from his property line to where we had cleared in front of the mail box, so we didn't have to do that piece (we thanked him profusely!!)

So, we concentrated on clearing out the rest of the now when our daughter comes down for Christmas, there'll be someplace for her to park.

I can definately say I got my exercise today, but this evening my back is letting me know I over did it....OUCH!

So, its off to the alternating hot and cold and a good dose of advil before bedtime..........maybe I should just go lay in a snow drift!!

Meantime, I'm trying to find out how I can get some help for my folks to get dug dad was talking about going out with a shovel to dig out the truck and make a path to the wood shed, but he really should not be doing mother says she thinks she can get some one from the city to help, but I worry about them decided to do it for themselves.....its hard for them I know to admit they can't do everything for themselves --- we're having some of those issues ourselves -- but I worry about it anyway.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

It's not time yet!!

I'm yelling that actually to all the folks that are currently celebrating the 12 days of Christmas.....being a bit of a purist is a pain I guess, but just in case someone is actually interested, the 12 days of Christmas are AFTER until Ephifany......Ok, I'm done with that rant for now.

I'm in a semi pre Christmas funk.....working away on the last of the Christmas presents that must get finished post haste and really wanting to work on a whole lot of brand new things that I've got all set up to start on (see the studio blog from early in the week) and having a couple more new ideas floating around in my head.....nuts!

Meantime, I can say that my Christmas shopping is done (just waiting for another package to arrive in the mail); all of the cards are mailed; the first package that had to go out of town was mailed yesterday and the last one goes tomorrow. We're deep into gift wrapping, which at some point every year looses its attraction, and becomes a chore, but we aren't there yet (see if we would only buy one present for each person.....ha, like that will ever happen!)

Anyway, I'm meantime worrying a bit about my sister (a 5 day migrane is a BAD, BAD thing); my brother in law (he's having surgery on his shoulder next Thursday); my dad (bronchitis on top of COPD is another BAD idea) and my husband (he fell on his knee 2 weeks ago today and is still having a lot of pain and the knee looks seriously like he needs to scrub off the mud, except its all discolored beneath the skin -- he's going to the doctor tomorrow). This is an official request for prayer for all of them!

Today is the 3rd Sunday of Advent, what glorious rose colored vestments in evidence, I enjoyed listening to the mass from Notre Dame this morning. We are reminded here to rejoice, the Lord is coming!

Today is also the 3rd day of Chanukkah, and we honor the Jewish traditions that lead to our transformation into Christians.

May all of you, whatever your belief be blessed.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The decorating is done!

Actually, its been done since Sunday, but it took me a while to get the pictures taken, and then it took me a while longer to figure out how to load these up on the "new and improved" (NOT) blogger.

Anyway, here is a little "tour" of all the Christmas crazyness......

This is the family room tree, complete with all the hand made ornaments from my friend in California, and the pictures of my daughter with Santa, and the ornaments she made as a little girl. This one has bubble lights and shaped bulb lights (bears and snow men)
Right inside the front door this little table is the place I set the envelopes waiting to go out to the box for the next day. I've had the little mail box and the lantern for a really long time.

This is the little wall tree in the kitchen with its wooden jumper toys around it.
Going up the stairs the banister is wrapped with greenery and lights and tied up with green, gold and burgandy ribbon. Between each rail is a wooden jumper toy and there is a little wood sleigh and a candle on each step.
Candles and Russian style art (there is no place in our local parish church to light a candle, but I can do it here). The Icon in the middle is St Nicholas, and the egg on the left has a nativity scene inside.
This is what we call our Russian tree -- really its an Eastern European tree as all of the ornaments and figurines under it are in that style. There are a lot of real eggs that have been painted or otherwise decorated on this tree. This tree is on one side of the buffet in the dining room.

This tree stands at the other end of the buffet in the dining room. Every ornament on it is hand blown glass, there are a lot of Radko ornaments and a number of Italian blown glass pieces.
The top of the stereo cabinet, all decorated with tin toys, santa mugs and candles.
Its not yet the night before Christmas, but the stockings are hung by the chimney with care! I have done the knitting of 3 of these in the last 2 months.
In the family room on the wall opposite the big tree is this little wall tree that is all decorated with Disney ornaments and keepsakes from our trips to Disneyland.

This little tree is on top of a doll case next to the piano. The star on top is the last rennant of the decorations my grandmother used to hang in the windows when I was a child. The ornaments on this tree are the little ones that would get lost on a big tree. There is also a fiber santa that my DH made as a child on this one.
Not exactly a tree, but we count it anyway. The Lladro bell and ball ornaments are a little heavy for a regular tree, but they look good on this stand. And I like the look of the other bisque porcelian pieces under it.
The top of the curio cabinet always has this clock (it was made by my DH's grandfather), but at Christmas we add some ceramic and porcelain figures too.
Decorating the coffee table with greenery and candles has been a long time thing, but this year I added some eggs with inside decorations too.

Under the living room tree, the bears are all dressed up and ready for the occasion.
The Crystal Tree. Every ornament on it is clear glass, most of them lead crystal. This is the tree my daughter is still afraid to touch, but now days she adds to my 30+ year collection every year.
Standing next to the piano is the Bear Tree. Every ornament on this one is a bear, and that means there are a lot of Coca Cola bears on there!
The nativity set is in its usual place on top of the piano (some day soon I'll have to find a new place when the piano goes to my daughter). We use some traditions from other places when we set it up. The 3 Wise Men are always to the East, not right at the stable (I believe this is a French custom), on top of the stable is the angel and a rooster (the rooster is a big symbol in the Russian chruch) and there is no baby in the manger until after midnight on Christmas Eve.

Yes, that's the end......there really are NINE trees!!

And now you know why it takes us 2 weeks to get it all set up.....

Consider this my Christmas Card to you all. May you have a wonderful Christmas, and may the world find Peace in the New Year.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Having been "tagged"

by Jason (see his blog at here are some little known things about me.

Five Little Known Facts About Me

1. I taught myself to play the piano. I wanted to be able to play Moonlight Sonata, so that is where I started. At one time I actually could play it all the way through. (its been a few years, and it would take a lot of practice to get it back)

2. When I was in high school I wanted to be a fashion designer. I worked for a while with two guys and made outfits for rock bands. I wonder sometimes where I would be now if there had actually been money for me to go to college and pursue this.

3. I have only 2 or 3 memories of my mother before I was 5 even though I remember a lot of things clear back to when I was 2. I spent most of my time with my grandmother (my mammy, as I called her), and she had a profound impact on my life -- teaching me to sew, knit, crochet, cook, iron, and all those other "girl things" she also taught me to love flowers and poetry. At one time after her death I had a dream about her that was so vivid I could actually feel her touch. (ah, a truly mystical experience)

4. Most of the time when I was in school I felt I had more in common with the adults than with the kids my age.

5. The dream to be a published author has been with me since I was about 10.

And there you have it......there are probably at least 5 more, but some things are better left in their dark little closets!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

the insurance company's annual greeting

arrived today.....the health insurance company that is, and why they feel its neceassry to ruin my Christmas every year is beyond me....

This year's greeting.....the premium for the health insurance for just me is an increase of 25%!! Yeah right, like our income will keep pace with that....ha!

The sad thing about it is that basically I'll be paying the $350 a month to have the insurance just in case I fall and break my leg or something since they will not pay for my blood pressure medicine, so I'm footing the bill myself for my meds.....

I have to admit that in a way I'm looking forward to being old enough for least the monthly premiums will be less because I'll actually finally be part of a group

now I'll just be wondering where that extra $$ will come from every month.....{sigh} guess I have to sell more jewelry or animals or another magazine article every month

Thursday, November 30, 2006

writing Christmas letters and other frustrations of a non-speller

yes, its my annual incursion with writing a Christmas letter that goes out to folks near and far to keep them updated on what is happening in our lives since I don't talk to them every day/week/month.....

This year's "remembering" has been easier because I have been blogging (and keeping copies) all year .... my way to keep a journal --- I'd never do it any other way

this also brings me to why my Webster's Dictionary is falling apart --- even with it, I CAN NOT SPELL!

To those of you that can hear a word and simply plunk it into whatever you are working on I can officially say I HATE YOU!! Ok, maybe hate is too strong a word, but it does express my frustration.

Much of the time I end up either spending HOURS with the dictionary (yes that's spelled right but only because I LOOKED!) or just using a lot of synonyms (you know, those words you use when you can't spell the other one!) But most of the time that means that what I put on paper (or in cyber blog land) may not really be what I exactly meant to say (but I'm too afraid of being perceived as stupid to just let fly and ignore the spelling and hope folks will "get" what I'm saying)

And don't tell me that I can always "look it up"!! The problem here is that the dictionary is organized by how things are spelled, which is not necessarily how I hear it. I worked myself into a near tizzy the other day because I was writing something that included the rather innocuous word "auxiliary".

Sure, I can type it now, but I ended up having to ask my DH to look it up for me. (And along the way he's saying to me "its about the derivation of the words" -- yeah, this from a guy that at one time could carry on a complete conversation in LATIN!!!)

Here's why: that word to me sounds like it should be spelled "augzilary" -- now do you see my point?

What is this magic that lets people hear all those words and be able to tell what the letters really are? Is there some sort of special kind of dyslexia at work here? And so, I am a frustrated writer.....wanting to say what I want to say and afraid to say it because I can't spell it.....ARRRGGHHHH!!

Ok, now that I have that out of my system, I'm going back to work -- perhaps tomorrow a rant about why I can't do math in my head (or not!)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Have I mentioned lately

that I hate winter?

Well, that's not really an accurate statement. I hate being cold (I also hate being too hot, but then that just proves there's no pleasing me!).

Here's a little back ground on my current complaining:

Item 1 -- the cost of heating our house in the winter has almost doubled in the almost 5 years since we moved here.

Item 2 -- we live on a fixed income

Item 3 -- last year, in an attempt to cut the cost of heating, we used our fireplace and turned the thermostat down to 58 degrees

Well, after several tests and consulting with our doctor, we have now concluded that we just can not continue with that. So, this week we turned the thermostat back up to 62 degrees.

It is amazing what a difference 4 degrees makes.....I can walk around the house without my feet and hands always being cold. I can take a shower without dreading getting out. I can wear just a t shirt and a sweat shirt instead of a t shirt and a sweat shirt and a sweater....but I'm already dreading that heat bill.....

And a further issue is that we are discovering that the lung issues that DH is having (which started last winter) are being aggravated by the cold, the dry climate and the altitude. All of which probably means major changes in our lives in the future.....

So tonight I'm contemplating what we might do next....thinking about houses all on one floor (no more up and down stairs every day for DH) and a moister climate with less altitude....but where?


Friday, November 10, 2006

Just for fun .... 48 things

Okay, its Friday morning, I didn't finish anything yesterday, I have to load the van later today to do a show tomorrow, and I just feel like fooling around.

So, on another blog that I read were these 48 questions, and I've decided to give them a go too:

48 things


2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yup, family friend

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? when my daughter told me she was engaged

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? well, that depends on the day -- it can be like some illuminated manuscript, or it can look like a chicken ran over the page with inked feet


6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes -- I'm interesting and quirky

7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? 3 actually, this being one of them

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? not since I was 3

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No, no a thousand times no (why would anyone jump off a perfectly good bridge, mountain, building, etc.....or out of a perfectly good airplane for that matter)

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? oatmeal with lots of raisins

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? strings!! (I wear Crocs about 99% of the time)

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I consider myself a survivor, so I must be


14. SHOE SIZE? 9 wide

15. RED OR PINK? Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? the self doubt that sneaks in when I least expect (or need) it

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? friends that are now gone beyond the veil


19. WHAT COLOUR TROUSERS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? grey sweats, grey sweat shirt, black t shirt, grey Crocs

20. LAST THING YOU ATE? crackers at 10 pm last night

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the sound of the rock tumbler rumbling along polishing the stones that might end up in the next beading project, Josh Groban CD


23. FAVORITE SMELL? Coffee, roses, chocolate, fresh bread baking



26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU STOLE THIS FROM? we've never met, but I enjoy her blog

27. FAVOURITE DRINK? ice tea

28. FAVOURITE SPORT? football to do... you've GOT to be kidding!

29. EYE COLOUR? Hazel.

30. HAT SIZE? no clue....usually wear a sweatshirt with a hood

31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? EWWWW! put my fingers in my eyes, NO WAY!

32. FAVORITE FOOD? hmmmmm, cheese burgers, french fries, shrimp and pasta, chocolate cake (these are basically a big NO NO now days....too much fat)

33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy, scary movies give me nightmares and I have enough of my own, thanks!

35. SUMMER OR WINTER? neither....too hot, too cold.....spring and fall are great

36. HUGS OR KISSES? Both, depending on with whom, of course

37. FAVOURITE DESSERT? angel cake

38. WHAT SIDE OF THE BED DO YOU SLEEP ON AND WHY? The right because I've always slept there

39. IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE DECISION TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING TODAY? probably a lot of the same things I'm doing, or not. I'm a firm believer that you wouldn't be where you are if you hadn't made every decision you did, so I just can't imagine what I'd be doing

40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Witness to Hope, George Weigel (tho' reading is not really the right word...more like savoring and studying)

41. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Wizard of Oz characters


43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? rain on the roof, my daughter singing, the voice of a friend on the phone

44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? neither -- The Moody Blues




48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Nobody - I appropriated it from another blogger!

So, my readers, how about your answers!

Monday, November 06, 2006

being grumpy just for a bit.....

yup, spent some time doing the "why didn't I" yesterday afternoon.....

I went to investigate a show that someone had suggested to me, and quite unexpectedly got hit with the "one more door closed to you" fact.

This show is sponsored by the American Association of University Women, and they do a lot of very interesting projects and programs that I thought might be fun.....

hold on there, I'm not eligible to play....seems there's this little requirement for University had to hang in there and get a least a 2 year one, 4 is better.....{sigh!}

fortunately, they don't seem to require that the artists that apply to the show have one, and this might be a good venue for my jewelry

We'll see

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Being Thankful, Part II......

my daughter and her fiance were here last night, and have just left us to head home....

I feel once again the need to say what a neat guy he is.....

So, once again I'm thankful for good things that are happening in her life....yes there are always life's bumps (see my rant about student loans from earlier in the week), but on the whole, its good!

I'm brought to mind of a lyric in a broadway musical...."...somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good..."

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Student Loans Suck.....

or at least the way they are handled does.

I have spent several hours the last two days trying to help my daughter figure out why, even tho' she is in forebearance on her loans, they have been reported as delinquent any way.

It isn't bad enough that the cost of tuition has gotten so high that most middle class kids can't go to school without taking loans, the way they are administrated after they get out is beyond poor, almost to the point of being a deliberate attempt to financially cripple these young people.

Why tell them they can get deference or forebearance when they have financial problems and need to reduce their payments if you're just going to screw up their credit anyway?

Needless to say, there have been long, detailed letters with explanatory supporting exhibits prepared to send off to the student loan administrators, the credit bureaus and all of her congressional and senatorial representation.

If some candidate for a political office would seriously attack this issue, he (or she) would gain a good number of votes for life from grateful students who would be able to go on peaceably with their lives without wondering what the loan administration is doing to their credit rating this month.

And another thing, it is also my considered opinion that the credit bureas hold entirely too much power over all of our lives. Just who are these little trolls, sitting under the bridges, deciding who the good people are and who the bad people are and making it nye unto impossible to ever recover from any issue rather it is actually of your own making or not.

So that is my rant for today (I'm now stepping off my soap box and donning my flameproof suit!)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Puppy Cuteness!!

At the end of a hard weekend of work at a show.....

The "puppy" (all 65 pounds of her!) being a lap dog to warm her feet and make sure we don't go anywhere!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

On being thankful….

I spent time sitting in a hospital waiting room this week while my husband was having a test done.

While I was sitting there, a man came in and was waiting too. His right arm was in a sling.

As people do, when they sit in such places, we exchanged pleasantries…he asked about the knitting project I was working on, I asked about his arm.

Here is his story:

Last week he fell and cracked the bone right below the ball joint of the arm all the way across. He’s in one of those lovely slings that immobilizes the upper arm so it will heal without surgery (hopefully). On Monday morning of this week, he had to rush his wife to the emergency room, and they ended up admitting her for a heart problem. As we were in the waiting room, the doctor came out and told him that his wife is going to have to have open heart surgery, probably tomorrow.

This whole story made me think about a couple of things.

The first is just how lucky we are that my husband has mostly recovered from his arm injury, that he didn’t have more complications with his gall bladder surgery, that I am still healthy enough to be a help instead of an extra burden.

The second was that I hope that man has someone to help him, be it friends or family, because he’s going to have a tough time for a while. I don’t know his name, or his wife’s, but God does, and I’m sure when I pray for that nameless couple, God will get it right.

I’m grateful for what we have, and especially today, I feel the need to say so.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Juggling doctor appointments and shows

The medical profession continues to tick me off.

Last Thursday the doctor's office called to tell me they had scheduled an appointment for one of the two tests for DH, and they had faxed the info to the other place for the second test. They were very nice, gave me the information they had, and the phone numbers of both places to "pre-register".

Well, today I scheduled out some time to make the calls, and had quite a "fun" time!

First I called the place where we had to set up the time and date, and of course they right off wanted to do it the same day that the other test is already scheduled for....finally got that one (echocardiogram) scheduled for Oct 30, even tho they say they haven't received the fax from the primary care physician yet....hopefully they will have it by the 30th!

Then I called the other place to give them all the information they say they need, and fortunately at the end of the conversation I asked what time he should be there, because they had him listed for a totally different time and if we had gone at the time the doctor's office told us to, we would have missed the whole thing....and the hospital had paid no attention to the information sent by the doctor because they still had the old phone number instead of the new one that the doctor has....

The computer is wonderful when it is properly used, but just like any other tool, it doesn't work if it isn't......sort of like eating soup with a fork!

Anyway, we've managed to get these scheduled and they don't fall on days that we have to set up, work or tear down a show...thank goodness!

Onward and upward I guess

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Bad news and a further rant about doctors

Yesterday morning, I got one of those phone calls you hate to daughter called to tell me that her fiance had been in an automobile accident that had totaled his car.

Fortunately he is ok. And this weekend they will begin the "finding a new car" process.....I don't envy them that project having just done that ourselves.

As a rant about the state of medical care, we are right now very glad we decided to change doctors.

My husband had his first appointment with his new doctor and as she was examining him she casually asked what had ever been said to us about his heart murmur, to which we said "his what!?" His other doctor had never mentioned it.

So he will be going to have an echocardiogram done as well as some pulmunary function tests.

I'm just glad that he was sufficently unhappy with the treatment he was getting to be willing to change!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Further proof that fall is here.....

While my husband mowed the back yard yesterday, I finally got all of the firewood stacked up.

Last year we had 2 piles, a small one in this spot, and another larger one along the side of the house. We decided that this spot is the better one when the weather (ie snow) comes because its easier to get to this.....decks are easier to shovel than dirt is if you don't want to be in snow over your shoes!

Looks good doesn't it!

And this morning, as if to make my point, its much colder out than yesterday.....ok, the next necessary project is cleaning the fireplace so we're ready for burning some of this.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Shouting and turning cartwheels!!

I submitted my first article to the on line magazine yesterday evening.

I was prepared to wait a bit before I heard anything about it, knowing that the editor would be busy with other projects today, but in this morning's emails was a letter telling me it will be published in November's issue of the E-zine!!

I'm excited....and the editor has asked me to "keep them coming".....YEAH!!!!

So, I guess I need to get busy working on more stuff

Friday, October 06, 2006

Announcing Hattie's Kitchen

I have just begun a new blog titled Hattie's Kitchen. (

If you have a moment, check it out!!

Fall is here!

This is the view from my back door toward the back corner of our yard. The big pine trees are in our yard, and the tree that has gone all golden is in the yard next door.

It really looks like these two trees are giving each other a big bear hug before the winter comes!

Its cool enough at night to close most of the windows and have a blanket on the bed. And of course, it also means the labrador thinks is a "two people night" and wants to sleep on our bed too. This is not a good thing, however!

Consider this equation: 1 double bed (not even queen!) + 2 adult humans + 1 65 pound, very tall labrador that runs in her sleep = someone on the floor (probably me!). It may be a very long winter!!

Friday, September 29, 2006

I am ashamed.....

to say I am an American.

Now before you start flame throwing, hear me out....

My dad is part of the Greatest Generation. He was a sailor in WWII, and his entire generation sacraficed a lot to put an end to the reign of a tyrant.

Yesterday my government (well, not really, since my vote seemed to count for naught), decided it is ok to torture people to get information.

Now here's the deal....the only "information" you get when you torture someone is whatever they think you want to hear. Any one of us under the right situation will say ANYTHING, true or not, to make the pain stop.

So, now we're going to make this all nice and legal so there won't be any war crimes trials when all of this is over....we've added a new "legal" twist to this...too bad Hitler didn't think to do that before the war, it would have saved a lot of his guys the legal hassels after the war.....

Oh yes, and just why do we think the "enemy" will have any compunctions about torturing any of our soldiers if they get the chance? Haven't we seen enough heads cut off on grainy video feeds to know they will not think twice about returning the favor to us?

We have seeming learned must be true......"we have met the enemy and he is us".....

yes, I'm ashamed today to be an American

Monday, September 25, 2006

OK, one person can.....

change the date that is. My daughter and her fiance have changed the date to August 18, 2007.....seems he has a cousin that is getting married August 4, and they are trying to spare his family 2 weekends of back to back weddings.....nice kids!

And don't you love this picture of them? They are adorable together.

So, that is my "proud mom" brag for today!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

what's that ringing sound?

ok....its the distant sound of wedding bells!

my daugher called to tell us that the young man she has been dating for months asked her to marry him and she said yes.

hmmmmm, do I look like a "mother in law" to you......

I know there will be LOTS of sewing to do here for this affair....lets see, bride's dress, maid of honor dress, bride's maid dresses x 2, flower girl....oh yeah, and I'll probably have to come up with something for me to wear.....WOW!!

I'm extremely glad that we have done such a great job teaching her how to do a long range plan for a big project.....she's already writing lists (that's my girl!!!)....which will make it much easier for all involved

OK, no one (and I do mean NO ONE!) is allowed to schedule anything for the two weeks around August 11, 2007

Saturday, September 16, 2006


I clipped this picture out of our local newspaper.

Its amazing how we have no issue with picking up a little wild animal to have it cared for but a good number of us won't do the same for a child.....{sigh}

Anyway, it is a cute picture of the squirrel, and my lab wants me to get her one with a broken leg so she has a chance to actually catch it (those in the neighborhood with 4 good legs are just too quick for her!)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Fall's coming....

I know that anyone that can read a calendar knows that, but you can feel it in the air here.

Yesterday we mowed the lawn in the back yard and planted some grass seed in the bare spots that had developed back there earlier in the summer.

While the mowing was going on, I was cutting up some of the branches of the lilac bush we had taken out.

It was warm, but not like summer warm...something cooler about the air even tho' the sun feels warm.

At the end of the working we could sit on the porch and talk about the projects we need to do next like replacing some of the trim on the tool shed and getting a coat of paint on it before the snow season starts. I'll probably have to repaint the door on the storage shed too....

Its nice tho to be able to work outside without fear of sunstroke....

I like fall. I know its the end of summer, but it has always felt like a beginning too, and I think that may have to do with our training as children....the fall was the beginning of school. This year fall is the beginning of new projects too.

So, I'm watching now for the leaves to start falling off the trees....

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The reward of hard work.....

sometimes is getting paid to do it!

I spent several hours yesterday with my accounting client, and will have to spend some time at home working on some things for him.....for instance, the August bank statement needs my attention.

Its amazing to me how all of the seemingly random tasks that I did for 30 years in the corporate world have suddenly taken on a new meaning. All those little details picked up by doing payables, receivables, payroll, inventory, cost accounting.....just seemed like jobs at the time.

I now have the chance to make sense of all of that with some logical plan for my client and a reasonable explanation of every change that needs to be made...for instance: why you never throw away a time card; why you don't throw away a voided check; why you keep a file cabinet with employee records locked; and a dozen other little things that don't matter to a really little business with no employees, but can be a major issue once you become even an LLC

And so, today I'm being thankful for having learned all of those things that are now, at a time when I really need it, being translated into what my daughter so gleefully describes as "billable hours"......cashing that first check (which I received yesterday) will be sweet!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Not being able to avoid...

the question of the day....where were you 5 years ago?

Well, I remember it clearly, my daughter had gone off to college not a month before and was 1000 miles away, and we believed we had just sold our house, so I was packing boxes that day.

My husband had to be at work at the usual early hour, so we were up, and had CNN on the TV. I had just let the dog out the back door when the second plane hit...and I remember saying to my husband, "something is going on in New York" that was a masterpiece of understatement!

I hear people talk about how sad they were (or still are), but I admit I went right to the "seeing red" stage, being totally outraged that this had happened.

So, am I the strange one? I guess it might be one of my ways of dealing with difficult things......perhaps rage is more acceptable than tears......perhaps not.

One thing for certain, I'm still mad 5 years later, but mad at other things ... that we have done practically nothing successful to find Osama, that in order to go into a stadium I have to be searched, and I will never fly again because I cannot be sure I would be able to endure what it takes quietly

I believe what one of our founding fathers said: When we give up our freedom to be secure, we are neither free or safe!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

listening for a calling.....

When I started this blog, the idea was that it would be somewhere apart from the studio stuff where I could just rant/ramble/babble about whatever was on my mind.

For the most part it has served that purpose well, and brought about a rather interesting group of comments, even from folks that I didn't know were reading it.

So, today, a bit of personal and/or spiritual thought

First of all, I think I'm a scripural snob.

Lets begin with I'm old ... old enough that the King James Version of the Bible is the one that "sounds right" ... I understand that God is multi-lingual, hears and answers in all languages, but to me the "language of prayer" will always be that older English style. There is more poetry and perhaps some sense of being invited into something special and different from the everyday world, and that seems to be the right thing for worship.

So, last evening, as I was listening to the reading from Isaiah, I had this sense that something was missing.....this morning I opened my old KJV and read the passage there......and understood what inspired yet another piece of Messiah

Anyway, back to the listening for a calling subject....I would like to be more involved with something at the Church. I know that some of my family has been able to serve by singing, but that does not appear to be in the cards for me. The Church has many groups right now that are looking for teachers of adults, teens and children, but I do not feel qualified to do that. So, this week, as I read in my old KJV, I will try to listen too.......

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Paper dolls, artist bios and history according to bloggers

I mailed them off today. Two sheets of dolls and clothes, a background art sheet and the hardest part, the artist bio. Now we just wait and see if they "meet muster" and actually get used.

I've been thinking about the difference in the way history will be viewed from now on. Traditionally, history is written by the victors. After all, one man's patriot is another man's insurgent.

The papers are full of articles about 9/11 again as we approach 5 years out. This will be another one of those dates that those of us that were alive will forever be able to tell exactly where we were and what we were doing. (For people my age, other such days were when John Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr, and Bobby Kennedy were shot. For my parents its Pearl Harbor and D Day as well).

Because of the internet and the growing blog culture, there is much more "history" that is the personal reconciliation of the common man. I think that is a good thing, and it is definately more interesting than memorizing names and dates and battles. It gives history a feel of the impact on individual lives.

Blog on my friends! Blog on!!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

and another new "job"

While I was reading one of the magazines I get, a letter to the editor wanted to know if they were going to be printing any paperdolls anytime soon.

I decided to be bold and wrote the editor an email referencing that letter and asking if they would be interested in do so and if they would like to see some that I had done.

SHOCK! They said yes!! So, I'm busy creating the original art work they want and it needs to be in the mail on Wednesday for the deadline on the Christmas issue.

Oh joy!! I might actually get paid to draw and color!!! YIPPEE!!

Ok, enough foolishness, back to the "drawing board"!!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

anger about the way things are

Today is the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I spent days just glued to CNN last year, watching with growing horror and then anger over what was happening especially in New Orleans.

This morning I was watching CNN where they were showing pictures of New Orleans again. You'd think the storm was yesterday. Its so sad to see the hugh piles of trash and row upon row of empty houses, their broken windows like dead open eyes looking out without seeing on vacant streets.

And the people who "survived" this past year are still recovering too. Some of them still suffering badly with post traumatic stress, and all of the unbelievable financial burdens caused by a government's broken promises and the absolutely unbelievably immoral behaviour of insurance companies that will do anything to avoid paying these people.

As I watched, I felt still that seeing red, screaming at the top of my lungs, anger that I felt when I watched all of that nightmare unfold last year. A country that claims to be the best in the world has to do better.

I'm also angry because I feel helpless to do very much to make any change in this situation. At least now I am participating in a group that makes afghans to give to survivors of the storm. Its not much, but it is something that I can do from where I am with what I have. I hope that somehow that little bit of caring will touch the lives of some of the survivors and give them hope and a sense that someone out here DOES care.

If you knit or crochet and would like to participate in this group's activity, you can go to and sign up to join us. If you don't knit or crochet and would like to help out, they also accept donations of yarn for other's to do the work with.

And so tonight I close with a prayer for all of those who are struggling with surviving after the storm and a prayer for the souls of all those that lost their lives in it.

Good night and God bless.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The cycle of nature....

Last weekend the art show we participated in was in a park in St Joseph, MO.

Our booth was in the shade of a lovely old hickory tree. During the weekend we had time to really see that tree, and I took these pictures.

Looking up into the tree, you see the leaves creating the lovely shady canopy that we enjoyed all weekend.

I know that went we visit St Joseph again this lovely tree will be gone. The city has already marked it for removal before it topples over and hurts someone.

At the base of the tree, the circle of life is playing out as the carpenter ants have taken over, feasting on the sweet sap of the tree, eating away at it, hollowing it out.

The tree is dying, but it is fighting on to the last.

Nature is cruel, but it is also brave.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

about leaping.....

A while back I had begun looking for some way to bring in some extra money without going back to the whole 8 to 5 grind.

Well, I believe I have found it!

Thursday morning as I was just "recovering" from a visit to my doctor, I got a phone call from a local potter that needs someone to help him set up a new system to keep track of his customers, inventory, etc.

Evidently, he had found my phone number on a local website where I had posted it at least 2 years ago. Amazing!

So, having met with him on Friday to talk about generalities, today I will meet with him and his wife (who has been doing the book work) to review what they are doing right now....then we can figure out what to do next.

This is truly a case of what Julia Cameron calls "asking the universe for what you need". By whatever word you choose to use, in this case it is an answer to prayer, now I will continue to pray that I will be able to know the right things to do so my client will be pleased with my work.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

growing up in the Fun House

I've been reading Julia Cameron's book titled Supplies and thinking especially about her chapter on growing up in the Fun House. Its actually a very good description.

So what do we see in those Fun House mirrors? Certainly not a true reflection of who we are, but a sort of wavey, almost underwater, blurry form reflected through the filters of what others expect us to be.

Perhaps we need to spend some time in front of truly reflective mirrors telling ourselves that we can be whatever we want to be beginning now.

Slaying the dragons of self doubt needs lots of work at reprogramming.

So here is my positive thought for today: I forgive myself for what ever real or imagined bad thing I have done, and I deserve to move on to what I want to do.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

collecting information and wondering how to start

For quite a number of years I've had this idea for a story (novel?) that I have been collecting information for. I have folders and pictures and notes, but no idea how to get this started. So, I'm thinking I'll just start in the middle and work my way out to the edge....I'm thinking this will be the writing equivalant of dropping a pebble in a pond -- you never know how wide the ripples will spread!

So, today's assignment for myself: Description of a character for the story, so here it is:

Character Description – “Tildi”

She was tall for a woman of her time, nearly 5’5”, and thin for a woman with four children. When she was young, she might have been called willowy, now she was just a thin woman with lines around her eyes from working in the sun.

Perhaps her strongest feature was her hair. Long, of course, for no Christian lady would cut her hair off except in severe illness, it was thick, heavy and a deep auburn color. Now there were a few strands of silver among the dark as well. She wore it parted in the center, pulled into a snug braid that was then pinned into a knot at the base of her neck.

Her eyes were light, not blue or gray or green or brown, but a mixture of blue and green with golden brown flecks. When she was angry or had been crying they appeared very green.

After years of working to keep a home, her hands were still slim with long fingers, but they were strong and had the callous of splitting firewood, tending a garden and wringing out laundered clothing.

As a woman on the plains of Arkansas in 1860, she was a rarity of another sort, she could read and write. Her mother had seen to it that she and all her brothers and sisters had learned to read early on, and now she was teaching her own children out of the Bible her father had given she and her husband as a wedding gift. That Bible was her family’s record book as well, where each birth and death and marriage was carefully recorded.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

What I'm learning about blogging....

is that it can be addictive! I've stumbled onto the blogs of a group of writers (published and otherwise) and I'm seriously fasinated, and beginning to think there's something to this writing thing after all.

So, how is it folks that blog get all those "friends"? I'd love to start yet another one just to put writing in, but I'm not sure if its worth the effort if no one is reading.....

Friday, July 28, 2006

the fog is lifting

after a long discussion with the pharamacist, I am now taking a totally different medication for the heartburn.

I can feel already (after 2 days off the other pill) that the depression has gotten less severe, now I just wonder how long the nightmares will continue ... I'm thankful that I don't remember them when I wake up, but it does make sleeping a little frightening

The up side of the depression was that I just working on cleaning and tidying and putting away, so the work area is a lot cleaner right now....I'm hoping that won't last!!

Meantime, I have requested a list of the approved doctors on the medical plan so I can try to find someone that will actually take the time to listen to me and try to "connect the dots" so we get some kind of picture instead of just a too close view of a pointillistic painting!!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

medical bulls**t

I am now totally convinced that doctors are idiots...or at least the one we've been seeing is. Here are my examples for today:

Part I: Post Polio Syndrome

My husband had polio as a child, and in the last 6 months or so, he has begun to have a burning sensation in his leg where there basically has been no feeling and no muscle since he had the polio. He asked the doctor at his last visit to get him some information and/or refer him to a specialist to have this evaluated. After my having to make TWO follow up phone calls to his office, the doctor called back and basically told him it could be post polio syndrome, or maybe not, and at first discussion was going to give him some sort of medication (who knows what!) and it was "no big deal".

Needless to say, I was less than pleased with that response, and so was Nick, so I did some on-line research. The consensus of doctors in the field at this stage of things is that because he had all three types of polio with significant muscle issues in that leg, that he may or may not actually have PPS, but that he should be evaluated by a doctor trained in neuromuscular disorders to rule out other issues as well.

I'm thinking that since this requires a speciality that the doctor's group doesn't have, he's not going to do anything about a referal unless we press the issue. I will be doing more research.

Part II -- RX, depression and other issues

Part of the reason for the somewhat erratic posting on this blog in the past couple of months has been that I have had persistant issues with depression, especially in the last 3 weeks since I had seen the doctor. After yesterday's RAGE over the lack of proper information that Nick was given, I began (in my muddled little brain) to question what I was being told.

I couldn't figure out why since the doctor's visit this issue had seemed to grow out of my ability to control it, and I was seriously beginning to think I was ready for the "funny farm", not to mention it was making it impossible to get anything done on my art or anything else.

So, I decided to take a look at the on line information about the medications that have been prescribed for me.

Drug #1: Nadalol -- this is a beta blocker that I take for my blood pressure. The nice side benefit to me is that it also has totally eliminated the migraine headaches that I was plagued with. This is not the only version of this drug, and some of them (especially the newer ones) are less "toxic" in terms of side effects than others. The decision for me to use this one has been totally an issue of what it costs versus what some other ones cost, a decision which may need to be revisited after my researching.

What I learned today about the side effects of these drugs: fatigue, dry mouth, eyes and skin, trouble sleeping, nightmares, swelling of hands and feet, depression

Drug #2: Hydrochlorothiazide -- this is a diuretic that is given in combination with other high blood pressure medicines. I've been on this one for longer than I have the Nadalol.

What I learned today about the side effects of this drug: weakness, light sensitivity, rash, jaundice

Drug #3: Famotidine -- this is a medication that blocks acid production in the stomach. I began taking this medication (its available over the counter) to control the heartburn that I had been having that Tums and similiar products were not controlling. I did tell the doctor when I saw him that I was taking this medication and why, and his response was, "no problem, you can just keep taking that".

What I learned today about the side effects this drug: fatigue, muscle pain, depression, rash, jaundice

Why I think the doctor is an idiot: even though I have mentioned issues with swelling in my feet and a rash and the fact that the last blood work I had done showed an elevated liver enmzine, he seemed to have no problem telling me to keep taking the third drug and actually wanting me to add a fourth one (Tricor) that is supposed lower cholesterol but has side effects of fatigue, muscle pain and liver damage.

HELLO, what are we thinking here??

At any rate, today I will be having a long discussion with a pharmarcist and then making another phone call to my doctor's office. Meantime, I've stopped taking the Famotidine, and I can already feel some difference in the depression issue....

Medical care in this country is SERIOUSLY BROKEN!!!!

Sunday, July 23, 2006


I was able to get the submission guidelines for one of the two magazines I was looking now, working on 500 words about a bear show that I attended/participated in.....

Meantime, thinking about the long spoken of novel, or story, or whatever it is going to become. I stumbled on to a web site (ok, not exactly true, there was a wonderful article in the USA Today that talked about civil war locations and Shiloh was one of them), there is a lot of background information on this site that may be useful.

So, what does it mean that I seem to write in parathetical phrases? Maybe I just like the look of those cute symbols ([{<>}]) or is it because I can't focus on just one thought....everything being a cue to some other random rambling?

Today's exercise for writing: what kind of writing do I want to do?

1) Well, I'd really like to get the civil war story on paper (now if I can just let go of trying to be absolutely sure of what REALLY happened, and just let the story happen!)

2) the cookbook -- this sounds easy on the surface, but it also includes stories about the people the recipes came from -- and perhaps because of that, an easy place to start?

3) some kind of "how to" -- not sure what here, just that I think I know about a lot of stuff, and maybe someone else would be interested in what it is .... now to figure out which thing

4) something that earns me a little money ..... okay, this is probably the WORST reason to write, or maybe not, at least it provides some motive to continue and finish I think the magazine articles are the best place to start

Ok, that's my list for today! Now to get some work done on something!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Working on a dare.....

or something like it. My daughter called me last night and asked me why it is a certain artist that I know can get paid to write for a magazine and I'm not. To quote her "you write better mom".....well, we'll take some of that as the "my dad can beat up your dad" type attitude, but it did set me to thinking.

So, I'm going to see if I can get editorial submission guidelines for the magazine she was looking at (as well as another one that is its competition), and see if I can submit something to each of these.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


I have begun reading E.B. White's One Man's Meat. The first essay in the book is titled Removal, and was written in July of 1938.

I like the way he draws pictures in your mind with his words. There's a wonderful simplicity about his choices of words, yet a lot of power to the images they create.

There is a section in this essay where he is talking about TV and its remember, this was written in 1938!

When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy; today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tiddings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.

I got a letter from a lightning rod company this morning trying to put the fear of God in me, but with small success. Lightning seems to have lost its menance. Compared to what is going on on earth today, heaven's firebrands are penny fireworks with wet fuses.

And the world has only gotten more so in the years since he wrote that, we seem to have not learned anything from our experience, like morons unaware of the world's history we are stumbling blindly on toward repeating it again and again.....

Saturday, July 15, 2006

heat, packing, sorting, reading, writing

I can say here that I officially hate the heat. It has been so hot upstairs the past 2 nights that we have not even tried to go up there to sleep. [my kingdom for an air conditioned house!!] but have slept in the family room with the ceiling fan and the portable swamp cooler running and the patio door open to let in what ever cool breeze is available [careful to keep the screen closed, tho', not wanting any mosquito bites for fear of what Nick calls "West Vile Nirus"]

I think the heat makes me crazy [ok, MORE crazy] at any rate, I don't think I function as well mentally anyway.

It took me the better part of 2 hours to clean out one bookcase and move the books from a second one into the emptied one yesterday. I'm thinking this is just a preview of the packing to come sometime in the near future. {sigh}

Anyway, as I was cleaning out bookcase number 1, I ran across a book titled One Man's Meat by E.B. White....and embarked upon a "boy do I feel STUPID" excursion. This little book (less that an inch thick and about 5 by 8 inches length and width) was a text book for a class that Nick took in his freshman year at CU. It is a compiled group of essays that were originally published in The New Yorker or Harpers when White wrote them in the late 30s and early 40s.

So far, so good, but here is where the "stupid" part begins: this E.B. White is the White of The Elements of Style, you know, that lovely little book that everyone had to have for college composition classes? that's the guy [now I'm almost afraid to find out what else Mr Strunk, his authoring partner wrote!]

Stupid part II: did you also know that this is the guy that wrote Stuart Little? {while we're doing confessions, I've never read it and only know anything about it because it was made into a cute movie}

Anyway, all of this prompted a discussion about why I've not been working on "the book".....mostly because I have absolutely no idea how to begin, how to create the characters, etc., etc., this a giant case of "writer's block" but mostly being afraid.....afraid of....???? who knows

So I'm going to read that little book (which I'm told has some great stuff in it), re-read Cameron's The Right to Write and try to figure out what I'm doing....

You as readers are invited to come along for the ride (fasten your seat belts, it might get bumpy!)

Friday, July 14, 2006

being the buttinski

Ok, I just couldn't stay out of it....called my dad's doctor and asked for information about counseling and support groups for my folks.....voula, information provided (does this come under the catagory of asking for what you need?)

Since that was so successful, I'm thinking about calling the surgeon's office next to ask for more specific information about the support belt dad needs for his surgical hernia!

all of this has set me to thinking about why is it I have no problem asking for what I see other people need, but not so good about doing it for myself.....still fighting the "don't be selfish" mind set perhaps

Thursday, July 13, 2006

on feeling older......

my daughter is moving into her own place this week, now this makes me feel older! I remember the first place I moved into on my own, and how excited I was to be able to do things MY way

I do sense a much different feel about my daughter's move than my own, tho'.....I couldn't wait to leave, having spent months and months battling with my parents over just about daughter really hasn't lived with us for almost 3 years...she's been out and about, finishing college, doing her own thing, but this is really her first place that she will have to really take care of....and its time

So, today I will be collecting and packing things for her that we will take to her on stuff, a bathmat or 2, bar rags (12 brand new ones!), a brand new coffee grinder (and a box of coffee), and other exciting stuff

My sister and I were talking about being the "sandwich" generation.....still caring for children to some extent and beginning to have to care for parents too.....I'll be putting my foot in it today, having decided that a phone call to one of my dad's doctors is in order to see if there is some way to get him the counseling he needs to get through all this.

Here is another prayer being seemed to me while he was in the hospital that he really enjoyed and seemed uplifted by the visits from the hospital chaplain. So, how to give him that connection again without created absolute chaos at home for him.....perhaps what I'm asking for here is a change of heart in my mom...something to consider

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

What happens if I win?

Ok, I've been giving this some thought.

I admit to having wanted (since I was very young) to be the best at something and have every body know it. Perhaps that competitive edge has been what has helped me survive some very ugly places.

So the past few days I've been thinking about what happens if I win....I'm a finalist is the ACE awards from North Country Teddy Bears, and I'm waiting to hear if I make the finals for the URSA with Bears 'n Buds.

But I'm beginning to think of this in a different way. Just because I win one of those awards, is that the "goal"? What do I do then? Sit on the laurals? I think not.

More and more I'm feeling that important part of the art is the journey. The important part is not the having, its the creating, and all the other things really don't feel that important when I'm in the middle of creating something that is going well.

One of the things that Julia Cameron writes about in The Artists Way is asking the universe to give you what you need. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to do that.....

So, what do I need? Right now, this is the list that's at the top of my mind:

1) to get through all the necessary paperwork so we can get the loan and get a vehicle of our own

2) figure out where we really want to be and get on track to moving there

3) find a way to help my dad get through his depression following his surgery (how do you give a man who's whole life has been doing things that require physical strength something to look forward to if that strength will probably not return)

4) keep creating new things and find a market for them

So, this is my list today......I'm officially "asking the universe" it a prayer for help if you will......and now I'm listening for an answer

Thursday, May 25, 2006

beginning again

Unlike my studio blog, I want to use this space to vent, rant, muse or puzzle over life, art, politics, religion or whatever is on my mind at the time.

I have a friend that faithfully journals on paper. She fills many 3 ring notebooks every year (I have the distinction of being the person that gives her the first one of the year at Christmas) and someday those journals will be a wonderful treasure for her family.

I'm just not faithful with pen and paper, not that I don't like to "write" -- it is something I've wanted to do for almost as long as I can remember, I just never found the way -- the pen and paper thing is just too painful.....takes too long to get the words from brain to paper, and then the pain in my hands will stop me long before I run out of ideas.

So, perhaps this is my venue, rambling on at the least this is less painful physically