Ruminating II - what's in a name?

today's cow picture courtesy of the local newspaper

moo two!

seriously though, one of the email lists I belong to has had an ongoing discussion about blogs and websites and businesses and what name you should use

this is a subject I've spent some time thinking about

back in the early 1980s when I first needed to register for a sales tax license there really wasn't anyone to discuss this with --- I liked the sound of the name Esmerldas (it was part of a John Denver song lyric), no one else had registered it in the jurisdiction I was registering it in, so I took it

because it isn't specific in terms of what the "product" is, it has been easy to use it for all the many art adventures we've been involved in -- mohair bears, jewelry, clothing, web design, art quilts -- just about everything

it has also been nice to be able to put the work that both the DH and I do under one "brand" instead of having two and the attendant duplicate paperwork

one of the discussion topics on that email list has been the idea of using your own name because people will be able to find you by putting in your name

that's a good idea perhaps, but I'm forever having to SPELL my name to people because they want to spell it with an "e" and 2 "r"s

what's the difference if I'm spelling my name or my business name to folks?

so there you go

guess I'll be keeping the name -- which means I really, REALLY, need to do something about the content on that website

and another thought -- perhaps its time to create an Etsy shop that carries the same name too

I feel the onset of more ruminating

ruminating

I know -- "moooooo"

every now and then its a good idea to step back and try to figure out where we're going

I tend to get the cart before the horse sometimes - it kind of fits with my style -- as in "let's learn to play the piano with Moonlight Sonata"

and I think in some ways the pressure of finances sometimes makes me want to jump into the "lets see if we can sell this stuff" stage before I've had time to fine tune the process

so I'm trying to be patient and do this art quilt thing the right way

keep creating things, trying new techniques, learning how to use new mediums in them and entering shows or competitions with them to get feedback

and put a few of the better ones on Etsy -- especially the smaller ones, just to see if there is any interest

just keep doing the work and maybe, just maybe, there will be someone that finds it

I've been distracted by the idea of maybe selling a pattern or two, but putting those together takes time away from the other work that I want to be doing, so I will be listing those patterns that I've already put together, but probably won't do any more, at least for now

and I want to be part of SAQA's Visioning Project -- which means I need to set a goal that is defined enough to actually be doable

yup, need to chew on this cud a while longer

will I ever figure this out?

one of these pieces of jewelry is my work, priced at $50, available on my website for sale

the other piece was done by someone else, priced at $400 (!) available through a catalog that I received in the mail a couple of days ago

ok, it's not that my designs are so far off the wall that they aren't good enough for a catalog to the general public

sure wish I could figure this one out

Christmas Memory

you're probably asking your self just what these two pictures have to do with each other

one of the clearest memories I have of Christmas as a child was when my day would bring home a box of chocolate cherries --

I have always loved that combination

when I was in the store the other day I spotted this bag of cherry cordial m&ms

I just couldn't resist buying a bag to check them out

mmmmmmmmm

I'll be buying my dad one of these for Christmas this year

(yeah, that's him, there in the sailor suit!)

thinking about new directions

yesterday we made a trip to a craft show

we went with a purpose -- to find a stone cutter who has done some work for us in the past (I had a large chunk of turquoise I want him to cut for me), and to visit with friends that we knew were going to be there

I haven't done a show in almost 2 years

and while I really can not get excited about doing outdoor summer shows, the idea of an indoor show is a possibility

while we were there I talked with several fiber artists who were doing some interesting things as well as some painters

there didn't seem to be as much jewelry as there has been in the past either, which I found rather interesting -- perhaps that craze has burned itself out

so I'm now considering the idea of doing this show next year

and taking some of my small quilted pieces as well as some of my wearables (the small, "Colorado Beach Glass" pieces, etc.)

certainly that would give me the chance to get some feedback on new stuff

it would give me someplace to perhaps sell some of the "experimental" pieces that I'm thinking about doing to learn some new techniques -- and it might generate a commission or two, which would be worth while

I will continue to think about this -- especially if the items I currently have in a store show are well received

oh yeah, and I'm thinking about MOO cards too

Representational or abstract, original or derivative?

I'll be doing a trunk show for my local quilt guild in January, so I'm starting to think about what I will say in that hour or so that I will have

as a member of SAQA I've read with interest the recent posts on the email list about art -- the cycles of what is "in fashion" between representational art or abstract art and the whole question of doing original versus derivative work

everything we create stands on the shoulders of our experiences and our learning

like technology, art comes out of what others before us have created

I will admit that I personally like representational pieces -- for me most abstract art is like progressive jazz -- created solely for the pleasure of the person making it -- but I will admit that a piece of art that is based on something like a leaf examined so close you can see every tiny texture but blown up to cover a wall has its own abstract but recognizable form

perhaps that is my real stumbling block -- recognizing -- my brain likes to be able to put a label on what I see

standing at the intersection of art and politics

I try to keep my art and my politics separated

and I definitely don't talk about my politics on my art blog

but in this particular case the two have intersected

this piece of art work is titled "Coexist"

it is entirely fabric, using a number of techniques

I created it for a project called The Dream Rocket where a replica of a Saturn V rocket will be covered with 24x24 inch panels all created by folks all over the country

the instruction was to create a panel that represents your dream of the future

all those little "paper doll" shaped figures on my piece are all different colors to represent every race, and the embroidered symbols are for male, female, handicapped, Islam, Buddhist, Agnostic, Jewish, Pagan, Christian, Hindu, Confucian and Shinto

the quilting over the surface consists of one word "COEXIST"

politics of late has been really, REALLY, ugly

so much hate, so many lies, so little being done to actually make things better -- I just wish we would learn to coexist

and this week we all get a chance once again to have our say in what happens in our country

are we going to just keep on screaming at each other

calling each other names

threatening each other and even hurting each other

how did we get to this place?

I went already and voted as we have early voting here

I strongly urge you to vote too

cast a vote to take us to where we can coexist!

F a a a l l l l l i n g

just like the leaves

the money arrived in my PayPal account yesterday afternoon

this morning I spent it

I signed up for the Visioning Conference with SAQA in May

Oh.My.Goodness!

remember that mountain I was talking about standing on the edge of?

I jumped! (with the help of a healthy push)

I'm doing a happy dance here while we're in the free fall

Baby Steps

and just where will those baby steps down the path and out the gate take me?

well, let us begin by saying THANK YOU a hundred times over (or more) to my sister for her offer to help with the cost of the conference in the spring -- it is so amazing (once again) to have her do this for me

(so am I holding up my end of this deal? I'm not sure, but I try by doing what I can for other people -- and this could be a whole (LONG) post on it's own)

right after I wrote the post about the conference I also had a lengthy phone conversation with a friend in California

she has a BA in fine art and was for many years a certified teacher (she's quit renewing her license now -- she's 80 -- no more high school class rooms for her!!)

so she's teaching a group of her daughter's co-workers about art -- a little informal group of ladies that get together about once a month

I'm now "signed up" to do this class by correspondence -- during our conversation she told me what this month's assignments are as well as what they did in class

I'll be doing the work and mailing it to her, then we'll talk some more

COOL!
so, I'm thinking at some point this photo may become the starting point for a small quilted piece (which will probably then get donated some where)


meantime, I've been wrestling with two opposing points of view -- can I be happy doing only a few pieces every year and continue to do them entirely by hand, or do I want to do more pieces which will mean that at least some of the work will need to be done on the machine?

or do I truly have to do only one or the other? probably this will end up being one from column A and two from column B (and with six we get egg roll?)

one of the other things I've been struggling with on the SAQA University is the whole "WIKI" thing -- I've never used one, so I'm a little hesitant about it -- but I had a conversation with my daughter in the last couple of days and I'm feeling better about it -- she had used it for a project at work and her comment was "mom, you figured out Blogger and FaceBook, you can do Wiki!"-- so I'll be jumping in to that too

and I've decided that it's time to stop being in "lurk" mode on the email list for SAQA -- if I'm going to get the answers to my specific questions, I have to ASK them (who knew?!)

look out! here I come!!

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

yes, I know -- it's a bumper sticker -- and it ought to be on the back of my car

this was a tumultuous summer -- the quilt I thought would be a winner at the State Fair didn't even make the final cut, while the quilt I sent off on a whim thinking there was no way a first time entrant would ever get in made it to the Hoffman Challenge National Traveling Show

over my life time I've been very, very good at starting things that require a lot of concentrated effort, but not so good at finishing them -- college for example, and the program for being a master weaver, and....and... -- you get my point

part of the issue is that I want to run before I can crawl -- I don't have a lot of patience for sitting through a class when I've already covered/learned the material somewhere else just to get the credit hours

( I taught myself to play the piano -- and to play Moonlight Sonata just by playing it over and over and over)

I also have this need to be patted on the head frequently by someone other than family -- I like being told my stuff is good -- and only more recently have I been receptive to hearing constructive critique of what I'm doing

last spring I joined the Studio Art Quilt Association -- I had seen the work of some of their members and it felt like the kind of work that I was headed toward

they have a truly awesome website that includes PDF files of every newsletter/journal they have ever printed (which I'm slowly reading my way through) and an area called The University which I am trying to figure out

they have two levels of memberships -- the artist member (pay your dues and join) and the professional artist member (PAM - where you are juried in) -- I like this idea, and I especially like the part where it talks about how to determine if you are PAM material -- I think I am, but I find I have no idea how to get to the suggested guidelines for qualifying

and there is the Visioning Project -- which is literally a mentoring program which you can sign up for and they will help you get where you want to go

I want to sign up for the Visioning Project -- and I'm afraid to sign up for it -- I don't want to fail again and I fear that although I've done some of the preparatory work that I'm actually going to be in way over my head and it would be good if that mentor was actually someone right here within visiting reach but I doubt if it will be

oh yes, and next May, right here in the state I live in, there will be a 3 day conference that is open to all SAQA members that might help get me started -- $300 -- it might well be the only such conference I can reasonably expect to ever attend since it is right here and I won't have to have a hotel or large travel expenses

so I'm standing on that edge of the mountain thinking "don't look down, don't look down", but not quite ready to leap (and thinking about trying to raise that $300!!!)

and another thing

back in January the insurance company made the DH change what sort of meter he has to use to test his sugar levels (my rant about that is here)

at the time I was really mad that we not only had to change from a piece of equipment that was working wonderfully, but that (unlike previous meters) we had to pay a $9 copay for it

last week that new meter, purchased in January of THIS YEAR, quit working

we made the trip to get new batteries only to discover that we could buy him an entire new meter -- without a prescription or anything else -- for (you guessed it) $9!!!

obviously we decided to just do that, but it still annoys me plenty

just sayin'

*#$@)$&#* Insurance Companies

maybe I should just rename this blog "Rants About Insurance"

about a month ago our doctor put the DH on a new diabetes medicine

it worked great -- it is an injection he gives himself once a day, but unlike insulin, it doesn't have to be kept cold, so it doesn't cause an issue when we visit with our daughter -- and it really helped bring down his sugar levels

so, since the sample worked so well, she wrote the prescription

we took it to the pharmacy

the pharmacy informed us that the insurance company would not pay for it without "pre-authorization"

so the doctor's office did their thing and sent in the form to get it authorized

yesterday I get the "robo call" from the insurance company that the authorization has been denied

they have some other medication that they want him to use instead

like the pencil pushers in the office know anything about medicine or his condition or anything else except probably the maker of the other medication gives them a bigger kick back

to say I am not pleased would be a vast understatement!

Up Side Down Side

I entered a number of things in the State Fair this year

it's an up side down side sort of proposition

the up side is that I won many blue ribbons, some red ribbons, some white ribbons and the accompanying monetary reward

good things all
but there are "puzzlements" too

this piece for example

this piece is titled "Diva"

last year it was a finalist in a national competition by Fire Mountain Gems

3rd place in the state fair

huh?

it confirms my feeling that the category it had to be entered in is WAY too broad and if you're not doing what the judge is interested in you have less chance to take first

still, I'll accept it

this, on the other hand, I really don't understand

mostly because I have no point of reference

this was the piece I worked on for months to carry out the whole "wild about flowers" theme

lots of techniques, embellishments, hours fussing with getting the whole "framed picture" look

didn't make the cut (even though the judging sheet had good ratings)

I don't regret making it -- I learned a lot, I really like the piece

and I may consider entering it in another competition if the right opportunity presents itself

meantime, no one even got to see it except the small group of judges and whoever was there that day

and I'm wondering why the things that won the prizes did so -- I'm mostly convinced that it's just too far out of the box -- the winners were all quilts in the traditional "bed cover" mode

and I think I probably won't do anything for the "special competition" next year

these two pieces have me really excited

not only did they win ribbons this year, but when I had to opportunity to show them to the assistant curator of the Fine Arts part of the state fair, she encouraged me to enter in that area next year


so, now I just need to make time to get back to this series and get some really good work done

I must have done something good

life moves in interesting ways

a couple of years ago our doctor had a fire in her office -- for about a year every time we saw her we joked about Dr. R's traveling medical show -- while she wound her way through insurance adjusters and rebuilding her office

when I found out what colors her new reception area was going to be I created this wall hanging specifically to go there

when I went to see her in July, I took a picture of the piece and told her that as soon as it comes home from the State Fair, it will be coming to her

she seemed really pleased

yesterday the DH had an appointment with her

while we were there we told her that we thought something in her bookkeeper's office must have been missed because I hadn't yet received a billing for my office visit

she thanked us for thinking of her welfare and said that we should count it as "Divine Intervention"

it feels like being paid twice -- doing the piece was a pleasure, and I got to experiment with a lot of techniques, and not getting that bill in the mail?

Priceless!

don't fence me in

it has been a frustrating week

about a month ago my neighbor told me that she wanted to replace the fence between our two properties

we had talked about it before, and originally this was not going to happen until the fall -- but she decided to do our side first, and I've given her some of the money already, with the agreement to pay as I can -- and after I see receipts

so on Thursday of last week, we went out and helped her take out the old fence -- everything except the posts, which were sunk in concrete and we needed some help with -- which we got on Friday from another neighbor and so Saturday morning when her "help" showed up, all they had to do was run a string line from back to front and put in the new posts

and since two of the three of them work for a developer here in the state, I thought we'd be ok

not so much

the post line was about as straight as my dog's hind leg

and they trampled my dahlia even though we had our trellis standing there to give them a clue and they were told about it

and they knocked down some of my garden

oh yeah, and yesterday, all of those posts came back out -- which turns out to be good from more than the "not a straight line" standpoint -- they didn't really put in enough concrete to hold in the 60 mile an hour winds we get through here when it storms -- which is why my neighbor could get them out so easily

in the process of trying to help, the DH hurt his arm, so for the rest of this week at least he won't be doing much that requires him to lift his arm -- and hopefully this won't require a visit to the doctor and more serious treatment than ice and rest

next weekend someone else will come to work on the fence

I hope they get it right this time -- we're going to our daughter's next weekend so neither of us is in the way or tempted to go tell them "you're not doing that right"

and I'm wondering just how much this is going to cost

another small victory and facing the inevitable

the endless saga of the medical bills continues to haunt me

on Wednesday afternoon (just 3 days shy of a year after my surgery) I got a billing from the pathology lab

not a big surprise that the envelope had arrived, I get a monthly billing as I've made an arrangement with them to pay this

the big surprise was when I opened the envelope -- and a bill that I expected to say "total due $180" said "total due $672"!!

WHAT!!??

and of course it was after 5 pm when the mail man brought this little bundle of snakes, so I couldn't do anything about it but stew until Thursday morning

so I called them, and by then I'd figured out that the difference was that for some reason they had backed out all of the payments made by the Colorado Indigent Care Program -- and I was not pleased

the person on the other end was pleasant -- and just as puzzled as I was -- she simply couldn't see anything on her computer screen that gave her any reason they had done this

she told me she would look into it

yesterday morning I talked with them again

seems they had experienced a little computer glitch and that now all of those CICP payments had been reposted and the actual balance due is $180

makes me wonder how much money they actually rake in because some folks don't watch as carefully as I do and wouldn't have challenged it

it's another small victory!

and then there is the inevitable

earlier in the year I spent some time fussing over rather or not to continue paying for the domain name for my website

I decided to do it mostly because I've had it for a long time and because I don't want someone else putting X-rated stuff on it if I give it up

the deal is, however, that if I'm going to pay for it, I really should do something with it, even if I can't see much happening with it

so I'm starting to think about what I should do with it and what "look" it should morph into next

a good idea would be great here, I just don't really have any

What might have been

Even if you're not a country western fan, you've probably heard this song by Little Texas -- it was written more about a male/female relationship, but it can be thought about in a broader sense

I try not to think about what might have been,
Cause that was then,
and we have taken different roads.
We can't go back again,
there's no use giving in,
and there's no way to know, what might have been.

No, we'll never know....
What might have been.

so the past few weeks, since I've had access to the Studio Arts Quilt Association website, I've been reading the back issues of their publication -- clear back to 1991 -- (heh, this is not the way I usually do things, usually I just jump in and fake it, but I'm trying to get an education here -- and my $60 worth!!)

in one of those old publications (newsletter number 2, I believe) there was a write up about a huge (14 by 14 FEET) quilt that was being hung in a public building

and there has been some discussion about folks beginning with a book that was written by Ruby Short McKim and using that as a spring board to the new art quilt movement

back in the 1970s I made this quilt for my grandfather

it is based on patterns in that self-same book by Ruby Short McKim

and that 14x14 foot quilt?

it hung in the convention center of the town I was living in back then

I guess it's okay for me to wonder if I had just kept making quilts back then where my art would have gone by now

it's not too often you see clearly what another path could have been

it's even less often, if ever, that you actually get a chance to walk there too

and there's no way to know, what might have been.

no, but I'm happy to see what might be -- taking what I know now and stepping timidly onto the path --

Beating the system

sometimes it is possible

earlier this week I received our annual analysis of the escrow account that takes care of the property taxes and insurance on our mortgage

their analysis showed that there would be a shortfall, and they wanted me to send along a check to "make up" the shortfall -- or they could just increase the monthly payment

either option is a royal pain, but the increase would be easier to deal with than coming up with a lump sum that was not planned for

and then on Friday I got the paperwork from the insurance company showing that the rates were going up - AGAIN - despite the fact that we didn't even get to put in that claim on the fence

it just hit me wrong -- what the heck?!

so yesterday I called them

why did the rate go up? because there was an increase in claims in the entire state, so they feel justified in raising my rates --

but after some whining on my part the representative on the phone told be that the company has recently started using a new method to determine what rates to charge and that using that evaluation -- basically writing a new policy with exactly the same riders, conditions, etc. -- might lower my premiums

I figured "why not" and told him I'd like to find out if that would help

(oh and while he was putting data in his computer I could hear one of his co-workers tell someone "we don't just automatically reduce a rate -- we wait until the customer asks" -- suspicious confirmed!!)

the bottom line?

the re-write is going to save me $514!

this week I'll be calling the mortgage company and asking them to re-review the escrow with the new rate in there --- I don't think I'll need to worry about the payment going up

I'm feeling good!

little things

my mother is getting rid of things

in the process, she has been giving some of them to me to sell on eBay

and some to keep

these were Mammy's

I remember them sitting on her desk in the bedroom of the house that served as what we would call an office now days -- her desk was there in the corner, and the sewing machine was right next to it on the same wall

the sewing machine that I learned to sew on in the table that Pappy built for it

there was just enough room to scoot your chair back then there were boxes of items stacked behind -- they didn't have a basement, that room held the trunk with her childhood doll in it (and a lot more, I just don't really remember what)

its officially summer, and there is something about summer that makes me think about Mammy and Pappy

maybe it is because I spent so many summer days with them as a child --

the garden with the corn and okra

the smell of starch and hot cotton when the ironing was being done

the sound of the sprinkler running in the yard and the fan running in the house

the hot concrete of the sidewalks and the cool tickle of the grass on my bare feet

I recognize now the work that summer was -- I am now the age that Mammy was when I was four years old -- I see her in my mind that way, and I marvel that I am now that old and still feel in ways like I am four

yes, it is the little things -- Mammy collected those little vases -- and I had forgotten about them until my mother pulled them out of a box of dishes

and they go well with a collection of little vases I've gathered on my own

full circle

heart broken and enraged

the pictures that are coming out of the Gulf of Mexico are heart breaking

birds being killed by the horrible thick sludge that has been gushing out of the BP well for 46 days now

we've seen devastation on the Gulf Coast before, but that was from the storms and there was something we felt we could do -- like donate to an organization that was working there --

but this?

this is murder most foul -- being done to the wetlands and the birds and the sea animals by a giant international corporation

who most likely will not even begin to do what they have promised -- make the area "whole" again

because they can't

no one knows how, especially those who are responsible for this "accident"

how many miles and miles of wetlands and beaches will be unusable for months or years or decades?

how many species of plants or animals will simply cease to exist because of this

and what of the human suffering?

the financial ruin (as if those folks hadn't had enough of that) and the illnesses that are sure to follow the exposure to all that petroleum and all those chemicals in the water

and the families of the eleven men who were killed by this "accident"

I'm angry, really angry, about this whole mess -- and truly sad that a close look at this through reality's eye seems that there is nothing any of us "mere mortals" can do to make it better