this should probably be subtitled "why I'm not a good patient"
I don't tolerate being told "you can't do that" very well, and I'm very used to being the one that just gets up and does whatever it is that needs doing
in fact, even before the surgery I was very frustrated now and then about not being as strong or as able to do things as I had been even just a few years ago
now that is even worse of course, wondering if this will get better or it's just going to be that way
so the last couple of days I'm sort of struggling -- I don't want just sit, and even though I'm working on projects, I'm having a serious case of "why bother" since there are no shows in the near future to be thinking about, and internet selling has been basically a bust too ----
just trying to be grateful that all of the shows I had applied to and sent money to were willing to refund us because I had a medical reason
wishing I was back in my California friend's kitchen, sharing ideas and learning new painting techniques and not feeling so isolated
now and then it would be good to have a friend that was within easy reach