I have battled for a while with a huge case of "why bother" .... and today it occurred to me that its hard to create in a vaccuum....the well goes dry quickly when there is no rain, and this applies creatively too.
I admit, I like the "strokes" of having someone say "isn't that awesome" or something similar about something I've created -- and even more I appreciate the ones that will whip out their check book or their credit card and actually PAY for some of my artwork -- mostly the latter because without it I very quickly will have no way to pay for materials to make new things.
But there is in itself a certain amount of "loneliness" in creative pursuits. It does not help that at least in my little corner of the world, every group of people that I might find something in common with wants to charge a fee for the pleasure of joining their group.
I realize that if I could make the decision about where I would live I would go back to the beginning of my time living away from my parents, where my apartment was on a main bus line and close to groceries by walking and near enough to the main library and the art museums that I could go there every weekend if I wanted to ... in short, I would return to the city, away from the suburban sprawl and the responsibilities for every little problem with the property and shoveling the sidewalks when it snows and mowing the grass.
I guess the "American Dream" of home ownership was never really my dream, but the other half of this pair still wants that -- don't ask me why. And I guess what that really means is that I'm just being selfish.....at least according to current prevailing attitudes.
Ok, that's my little rant for today ..... back to work