Waiting to Exhale

What a weird week this has been

Let me begin by saying that I still don't have any results from the biopsy yet ---

should I think that no news is good news?

or should I think that the doctor doesn't want to tell me bad news on the phone?

or is it just that the lab hasn't gotten back to her yet?

And there is this strangeness of good news heaped over the possibility of bad news that has me walking into walls

Yesterday I was notified that both of the beaded pieces I entered in a big contest made the first cut from my photographs and the pieces themselves now go off for the second part of the competition.

This morning in my in box of emails were two other interesting things: an invitation from a Colorado art work agency to submit some of my work for inclusion in their online gallery and a request from a web gallery on art to be interviewed and included in their site.

I'm a little freaked out by the whole timing thing

The sceptical side of me instantly thinks of a lyric from the Tim Rice/Elton John version of Aida --
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

I'm trying to tell myself that these are the rewards for hard work and consistently trying to put my work out there to get recognized (and hopefully be able to reach a bigger audience)

And I'll also say I'm a little freaked out by the idea of actually succeeding

ok, I think the timing is strange

I'm still a little afraid

and grateful