back to ruminating

with sheep

in the past couple of weeks I've been posting things in my new Etsy shop in an attempt to sell some of my creations

most of what I've posted has been my jewelry, and as a result of some "fiddlin' around", I've been invited to join a juryed team on Etsy -- all entirely new territory

there is a certain amount of panic involved in this

partly because it means I've spent a lot more time doing computer work and I'm concerned about actually getting any creative work done

its all about balance -- and its long been known that I'm "a bubble off plumb" (heh, right!)

also because I'm worried about balancing the bead work with the art quilts -- both of which are extremely satisfying to work on, give me an opportunity to create art, and take up lots of time

I'm trying to hang on to a quote that was on a book mark my daughter gave me a while back --

"Its never to late be be what you might have been"

I'm tying a knot here to hang on to ----

baaaaaa

this could have been titled "Ruminating V", since (as my daughter recently pointed out to me) sheep are ruminates too

but "baaaaaaa" seems to be a more appropriate title for this post

WARNING: this post contains whining!! if you are faint of heart, turn away now!

I spent this morning writing all the bills (except the utilities, for which the bill has not yet arrived) for the month

and after doing all the calculations I figure we have about $150 in our account to cover gas, groceries, dog food, RX and whatever else we need to have between now and May 25 -- 22 days hence when we get paid again

I had been carefully saving up little bits of cash for months so I would have a bit of money to use when I attend the SAQA conference up in Denver -- good thing I did because that will probably buy groceries for the rest of the month -- but I'm totally pissed that it will have to go there

and why are we here again?

one $400 car repair and my total inability to sell any of my work anywhere

(and that doesn't even include the fact that our dishwasher has died too, and since that would be probably another $300 plus to replace, I'm back 30 years ago, hand washing the dishes)

sometimes I wonder why I even keep making stuff, but since its that or just sit in front of the TV and turn into a turnip, I think its preferable -- maybe

sure wish I could figure this out